GH And Petey's Timberwolves Blog

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Timberwolves Announce Big Changes

Despite a huge night from Garnett, the Timberwolves lost for the 9th time in 11 games. After yet another disappointing loss to the Orlando Magic, the Timberwolves decided it was time to start making changes.

In a press conference held several hours after the game, the Timberwolves announced that they would now be known as the "Minnesota Timberwolves of the Dakotas".

"Winning starts with defense," Owner Glen Talyor said. "We feel that bringing South and North Dakota into our organization will help us chant 'De-fense', and hence help us to win more basketball games."

When asked how he felt about the team's name change, Wolves center Michael Olowokandi said "What's a Dakota?".

"I'm just glad they didn't go with Iowa," said forward Kevin Garnett. "That would be messed up."

The name change didn't sit well with Minnesota officials, who believe that the name change violates an agreement they had with the team. "What the f--- kind of retarded name is that?" Said Minnesota Spokesman Nicholas Auger. "We don't want a team with such a stupid name playing here. People all over the country will think we're g----- idiots in Minnesota. They'll be hearing from our lawyers."