GH And Petey's Timberwolves Blog

Monday, November 07, 2005

Quentin Ross - Top 5 player in the NBA?

Okay, so as we all know, I suck at blogging (and life but that's for a different blog). However! I should be getting league pass in a month or so when I move into a new place here in the OC.

Anyway, Saturday morning I realized that the Twolves were in town playing the Clips and like the genius I am I didn't have tickets. No problem, I decided I could watch it on TV while IMing Greek (who most definitely would be watching). This will be pseudo Sports Guy Diary style, except it's *actual* excerpts from my conversation with Greek.

[early in the 1st quarter]

Petey Smooth: the announcers just said 'Brand vs. his nemesis kevin garnett'
Petey Smooth: hehe
Petey Smooth: u know those two really have it out for each other
GH: yeah, and aren't you really supposed to be on a par with your nemesis?
Petey Smooth: duncan vs. kg is a better 'nemesis' matchup tho
GH: yeah

Petey Smooth: apparently ross' teammates on the clips call him 'trenton hassell' b/c he's good at D
Petey Smooth: the announcers are actually really talking up this guy altho i've barely heard of him....weird
GH: i wonder if robert swift's teammates call him kandi
GH: cause he's bad at everything

Petey Smooth: jaric is crap
GH: what!?!?
Petey Smooth: i'm sorry he's made like 2 passes so far in the game of like 3 feet so far and they weren't good at all, almost turnovers
Petey Smooth: i should reserve judgement for later tho
Petey Smooth: but so far he still looks stoned and out of it like he did in clipperland
GH: he's been very good so far this season

[five minutes later after Jaric delivers a nice entry pass to Wally who then decides dribbling a bunch in the post will help me launch a post-move]

Petey Smooth: ok fine..jaric isn't crap
Petey Smooth: altho wally shouldn't immediately dribble the ball 20 times in the post, that's just retarded

GH: this is off to a horrendous start
GH: i don't understand why they're booing jaric
GH: what did he ever do to them?
Petey Smooth: b/c he left? i dont get it either
Petey Smooth: they got cassell out of it!
GH: finley got a standing O in dallas tonight
GH: maybe it's cause clippers fans are retarded

Petey Smooth: the guy said after cassells sweeping hooky thing 'holey smokers'
Petey Smooth: wtf?
Petey Smooth: holey smokers?!?!?!
GH: it's kinda an oh my godner

Petey Smooth: aw shit
Petey Smooth: madsen is soooo bad
Petey Smooth: i mean i love the guy
Petey Smooth: but he's so bad :-(
Petey Smooth: guh

[2 possessions later]

GH: madsen with the monster jam!

[some point in the 2nd or 3rd quarter]

GH: that guy who just checked in for the clippers played for "armani jeans milano" last year
GH: they named their team after a product dude
Petey Smooth: well it could be alot worse
GH: like "maxi tampons havana"?
GH: madagascar kyj?
GH: anal lube?
GH: the minnesota fuck shits?

[again, at some random time during the game]

Petey Smooth: i dont even know who mcgants or whoever is
GH: mccants
GH: he was our #1 pick
Petey Smooth: we drafted him and he actually plays! it's a miracle!

GH: we're playing like absolute shit
GH: dear god
GH: one good airball deserves another
GH: zoidberg 2 [richie frahm]!!!
GH: for three!!!
Petey Smooth: where'd we even get him [frahm]?
GH: FA I think

[revisiting the fans booing jaric - which has been going on all game]

Petey Smooth: they should boo cassell
GH: i'm booing him
Petey Smooth: i'm booing kandi
Petey Smooth: :-)
Petey Smooth: ok not really
Petey Smooth: but i should

[4th quarter...Twolves look like their gasping at straws]


[hearing his plea, Kandi hits his patented craptastic hook in traffic]

Petey Smooth: JESUS
Petey Smooth: WHAT THE FUCK
Petey Smooth: kandi to save the Twolves!
Petey Smooth: M V P
GH: he's like the 39th best player on the team!
Petey Smooth: at least
GH: right after McHale
Petey Smooth: and he proved it right there Brendon...that's good team play
GH: it's an easy game if you play it the right way
Petey Smooth: i think he left his bong back in MN this time
Petey Smooth: and no one in LA will hook him up anymore

[more insight on how closely Petey has followed bball this offseason]

GH: thud ABUSING cassell on the low block
Petey Smooth: i didnt even know we had him anymore lol
Petey Smooth: i thought he decided to stick to rapping
GH: he wanted a multi-record contract
GH: they wouldn't give it to him
GH: even when he compained about feeding his family

[late in the 4th quarter, the announcers have the most brilliant exchange all game]

Petey Smooth: lol, check out this exchange from the Clip's announcers:
Petey Smooth: 'Quentin of the best players in the league'
Petey Smooth: 'in the league?!'
Petey Smooth: 'why not!'
Petey Smooth: 'at least top 5'
Petey Smooth: 'in the nba?!?'
Petey Smooth: 'yes! in the nba!'
Petey Smooth: i want to play that announcer in fantasy bball
GH: that's funny
GH: i mean...he's no darius songaila
Petey Smooth: 'better than tim duncan?'
Petey Smooth: 'well no..i top 5'
Petey Smooth: 'better than tmac?'
Petey Smooth: ' tmac is 4'

[KG and Twolves are in the midst of mounting a furious comeback]

Petey Smooth: too bad the clips have Quentin Ross
Petey Smooth: one of the top 5 players in the league
GH: hey man...that guy's a future HOFer

GH: you should write this one up on our blog
Petey Smooth: perhaps
GH: you can talk about the stupid shit the clippers anouncers said

[Brand hits some mid range shot]

Petey Smooth: 'I think Elton Brand found a new facet to his game....'
Petey Smooth: 'I think KG can't handle him'

[KG hits the floor in pain]

GH: KG's hurt
Petey Smooth: 'garnett...suddenly healed'
Petey Smooth: hehe even when they say normal stuff it's funny

[KG hits a soft mid range jumper off the glass]

Petey Smooth: 'whoa....whoa....whoa'
Petey Smooth: ahh..timmyesque...apparently the announcers don't know he has that range

[our exchange during the break between regulation and OT]

Petey Smooth: on the last play of regulation one announcer said 'well the one guy i dont worry about on this play is jaric...'
Petey Smooth: it was sorta funny
GH: haha
GH: they shoulda said kandi
Petey Smooth: they were like 'kg obv is dangerous..wally can shoot well...griffin could get a rebound....Kandi has that little hook....yeah jaric can't take this shot'
Petey Smooth: it was hilarious
GH: haha
Petey Smooth: i was hoping KG got doubled and jaric got a wide open med jumper and drained it
GH: they're retarded
Petey Smooth: yes way worse than Warriors announcers
Petey Smooth: it is so funny

[Wally falls down on offense and the clippers feed Quentin Ross for a *wide open* mid range jumper. No one within 10 feet of him]

Petey Smooth: 'one of THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE LEAGUE!'
Petey Smooth: 'YES! HE IS RIGHT NOW!!'
Petey Smooth: did they realize he took a WIDE OPEN jumper b/c wally fell down?
GH: there are only a handful that could have made that shot
Petey Smooth: like.....anyone on the court but kandi
GH: and most of the people in the stands
Petey Smooth: i will keep a running diary of clipper announcer quotes
Petey Smooth: that should be my contribution to our blog
Petey Smooth: oh's more on that shot 'quentin ross is a special player'
GH: "special"
Petey Smooth: 'the guts to take that shot.....says alot about whats inside'

Petey Smooth: great shot off of one foot with 3 defenders by Cassell
GH: shoulda given it to ross
Petey Smooth: i know
GH: best player ever

[last possession in OT, Wolves with the ball, a handful of seconds on the clock and down by 1]

Petey Smooth: 'clippers still have a foul to ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL statistic here in OT'
Petey Smooth: like he's right....but he just sounds retarded

[KG makes a strong move to the hoop and gets fouled]

Petey Smooth: 'coulda waited a little longer'
Petey Smooth: i bet like 95% of the time the announcers say that or 'shoulda given the foul' in this situation...never, 'that's good basketball, perfectly timed'

[KG somehow misses the game winning shot in OT from point blank]

Petey Smooth: jesus
GH: fuck
GH: i don't know how he missed that

Petey Smooth: one announcer just recapped the game 'mobley was absolutely splendid'
Petey Smooth: lol, what happened to Quentin Ross? I mean, he *is* one of the 5 best players in the NBA

I think this sort of thing has promise and I will have to toy with the format and how copiously I track the ridiculously retarded Clipper announcers. Perhaps I should do running feature where I just give choice quotes whenever I see a Clip game. If anyone even reads this blog, let me know what you think - especially if your name is Toey, ;).